Becoming A Better Blogger - #3: Stop Running, Start "Being."

Becoming A Better Blogger is a new series at Once Upon a Prologue; it's a combination of my feature If I Could Writer A Letter To Me, (inspired by Jamie at The Perpetual Page Turner) and my own thoughts on a chilly winter night.  Becoming A Better Blogger is about the things I've learned while blogging, the advice I've received, and about shedding lesser versions of myself - from the first growing pains of becoming a new blogger, to where I am now, and all the growth I hope to do.  As always, discussion is encouraged and welcomed!

Becoming A Better Blogger - Stop Running, Start "Being"

How many of us started our book blog out of a bone-deep desire to share our love of reading with the world, and to meet like-minded readers and bloggers?  *raises hand*  Now, for the harder question, and the one that no one likes answering: how many of us, at some point - be it for an hour, a day, or a longer stretch - got caught up in the stats/galley/fame game, and lost sight of our original blog goals?  *raises hand*

That's right, it happened to me.  It's happened to others, too.  The lure of galleys, blog tours, followers, notice from publishers, credibility in the blogging community...it's shiny.  It's TEMPTING.  It's worth being winded after that long climb up to say "Look at me, I'm HERE." But "here" stops mattering when you're always focused on what comes next, and you don't give yourself time to appreciate it.

"Here," is different for everyone.  If that galley matters THAT MUCH to you, then let that be your "here."  Your plateau.  But don't spend so long admiring what's on the next level up that you can't appreciate the moment you're in.  

I don't think I know anyone who started their book blog to become famous.  So when and why did it become about that?  2012 was a year of so much negativity for bloggers (and for authors, in some ways.)  Let's make 2013 a year for growing as readers and bloggers, and less of a popularity contest.  Let's geek out together over an old book we all enjoyed, and not JUST over the next big thing.  Let's "wait" less on Wednesdays, and have more tea time to come together as book bloggers. 

Let's get off the happiness treadmill.  Let's stop running to one stage, then the next, then the next before we can realize what we have.  Let's stop worrying so much about setting new, higher goals, and just BE.  Be a reader.  Be a book-lover.  Be a writer.  Be a blogger.  BE YOU.  Be aware of where you are, and stop to appreciate that.  If you have one follower, or a thousand, or ten thousand...be thankful. 

Be still.  Be classy.  Be awesome.  Be loud.  Be original.  Be someone that reaches out, not to gain followers, but to gain READERS, and friends.  Be happy when your numbers go up, but be happy that you HAVE numbers. 

 

Stop racing toward more and more, and JUST BE.  Don't seesaw frantically trying to gain the edge, get on that blog tour, or score a dozen galleys a week.  Find your balance and BE.  

 

Becoming A Better Blogger - #4: Finding Balance

Becoming A Better Blogger is a new series at Once Upon a Prologue; it's a combination of my feature If I Could Writer A Letter To Me, (inspired by Jamie at The Perpetual Page Turner) and my own thoughts on a chilly winter night.  Becoming A Better Blogger is about the things I've learned while blogging, the advice I've received, and about shedding lesser versions of myself - from the first growing pains of becoming a new blogger, to where I am now, and all the growth I hope to do.  As always, discussion is encouraged and welcomed!

Becoming A Better Blogger - #4: Finding Balance

Part of the lure, and the problem in the book blogging community is there's more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than can ever be done - oh wait...

Anyway, point is, there's a LOT out there.  Memes, discussion posts, review, giveaways, surveys, blog tours, NetGalley.  It's easy to get overwhelmed, trying to focus on it all, trying to be everywhere.  It's hard to be active at Goodreads, Facebook, your blog, Twitter, Tumblr, and NOT resort to holding yourself up in your room, blinking harshly at any form of light other than your computer screen, holding a cup of coffee and Poptarts and mumbling about "my precioussssss."

So what's the answer?  Can you keep all those balls in the air, juggling, and not eventually drop one?  I know I can't.  So for 2013 I'm making some changes.  I'm reading more "for me," which means that after this month of crazy reading, (I'm writing this post in January), I'm slowing things down - reading more from my personal TBR, and only accepting ARC tours and such by invite.  I'm going to be requesting a few galleys, but NOT overwhelming myself.  

Twitter will be more for having fun.  I'll do some blog promotion, but I'm not going to kill myself.  I am going to make a huge effort to interact more on GoodReads, comment more, and keep my reviews there up to date.  I'm being more interactive on my blog's Facebook page, too, but I'm moving to WordPress soon, and going to be ME.  It's scary, losing GFC.  I will probably panic the day it happens.  But my readers will make the jump with me, and I'm looking forward to getting out there and meeting new bloggers.  

Balance is difficult.  Sometimes I feel like everything I do isn't enough, while there are days that I devote 8 hours to scheduling blog posts - some of which are hits, some that get no comments, when I feel like they deserve to be seen and loved as I love them. I have to find a happy medium, so that's for 2013 is for me and blogging.  Balance.  Being present, without trying to be everywhere. Reading books I want to read and NOT over-committing like I did last year.  

So, who's with me?  What are your blog goals for this year?    

 

Becoming A Better Blogger - #1: Kicking Jealousy To the Curb

Becoming A Better Blogger is a new series at Once Upon a Prologue; it's a combination of my feature If I Could Writer A Letter To Me, (inspired by Jamie at The Perpetual Page Turner) and my own thoughts on a chilly winter night.  Becoming A Better Blogger is about the things I've learned while blogging, the advice I've received, and about shedding lesser versions of myself - from the first growing pains of becoming a new blogger, to where I am now, and all the growth I hope to do.  As always, discussion is encouraged and welcomed!

Becoming A Better Blogger: Vanquishing Blogger Jealousy

Recently, I made my 2013 list - a list of books I've been lusting after.  This was mostly ARCs I "had" to have, be they books from debut authors, or sequels I need in my life.  I made the list, filled it to the brim, and then saved it and didn't think much about it for a few weeks.  Today, I took another look at it, and was surprised at what I found. 

Of the list, I could only remember what half of the books were even about. 

With that in mind, I set about trimming down that list, and asked myself an important question: which of these books was I passionate about?  Which of them had I added because I HAD to read them, and which had I added just thinking they looked interesting, or would be cool to have?  When I answered those questions, the list dropped to the titles I truly, genuinely want to read.  And since then I’ve been asking myself that question more often, especially when I see other blogger’s book hauls: that book is shiny and awesome-looking, but am I passionate about it?

Blogger jealousy is an ugly thing, and I don’t really like who it makes me.  Despite telling myself I wouldn’t go there, I fell into the trap of thinking I had to have ALL THE BOOKS.  I’m not proud of it, but it is what it is.  I see bloggers I admire who get five or ten books each week, and they all look AWESOME, and that little devil on my shoulder whispers “don’t you wish that was you?”

And you know what?  No, I don’t.  I mean sure, there's that part of me that does - hello, I'm human!  I love shiny, new, book-ish things, and there's ALWAYS something awesome coming out, something I think I - have - to have.  But...I don’t want the pressure of knowing I have a pile of books to review, because I take things like that seriously – and I start to stress.  I would rather keep things low-key, and read a few special review books, plus make time for the books I’ve bought that have been sitting on my shelf for WAY too long, waiting to be reviewed. I've been rejected for ARCs before and...I survived!  Nothing bad happened.  I just had to wait a little longer to read that certain book. 

So sure, I’ll miss out on some ARCs.  My book haul videos won’t be as epic as some other blogger’s are.  But they’ll be awesome just the same, because I’m reading, and I have this whole, amazing community in which to share my love of books.  And that’s enough for me.  

And that's what it comes down to: being ME.  Not anyone else.  Those other bloggers may have triple the review books I have, or a thousand more followers, but there's no guarantee they're happier than I am.  I started this blog to share my love of reading, and that's why I continue it.  Not for status or being one of the "cool" kids.  For me, and to share my love of reading!

What's your take on the green-eyed monster?  What have YOU learned about blogger jealousy, and what helped you overcome it?  

Discussion Post - Shaking a Reading Slump

What do you do when you get into a reading funk and you don't feel like reading anymore? Any tips or tricks you use to get out of the funk and back into reading? – Katie

Ugh, reading slumps are just AWFUL.  It's wild how one week, I can be excited to read ALL THE BOOKS, then the next, not want to read anything at all.  It's also a huge inconvenience, considering with the blog, I have certain books I have to read by a certain time to have reviews, guest posts, etc ready!  So what do I do when NOTHING seems appealing to read?

• Try a book from a genre I haven't read in awhile.  If I've had my fill of YA contemporary, I might pick up a YA fantasy book, or even a women's fiction, or an adult paranormal romance - something different to jolt my reading bug awake.
• Read a book I've been wanting to get to for forever.  Deadline or no, sometimes what I *should* be reading just isn't working.  So the best thing sometimes it to pick up that new Jodi Picoult that I bought a year ago and never read...or that Kimberly Derting book I *had* to have, but haven't yet read.
• Read an old favorite.  There's a reason why Anne Bishop and Richelle Mead's books will NEVER EVER leave my bookshelf.  (I recently donated about 150 books to the library...but there were some books I just literally couldn't part with.)  These are my "comfort" books, my favorite books, along with a few other amazing authors.  They're the books that I can come home to when nothing else is as good, or seems like something I'll want to read.  They're the books that I've swooned over the most, and the longest.  
• Do something else.  Get up and go work out, or start a writing project, or watch a movie to get inspired.  DO SOMETHING to tap into your creativity.  

  
Your turn!  What do YOU do to escape a reading slump?   Was there something I missed in this post?  Have a general blogging question?  Let me know here and I'll answer it!

Discussion Post - Commenting And Getting Comments In Return

How about how to get people to comment on your posts regularly? - Michelle 

That is a fabulous question! For the longest time when I started blogging, I was clueless about the blogging world, much less how in the world to get anyone to come to my blog and comment.  Over the last year and a half, I've found a few things that work for me, so that's what I'll share today.  Again, these are just the things - I - do and that seem to have good results.  

•  Leave meaningful comments on other's blogs.  If you're having a giveaway, it's fine to talk it up on Twitter, but NOT okay to comment on someone's review with a simple, "great review, come check out my giveaway."  Instead, whatever type of post you're commenting on - Waiting On Wednesday, review, discussion post - you should leave a response that has something to say about what you just read. Tell them WHY you liked their review, add something to what they had to say.  People will notice and appreciate this.  
• Make your blog posts engaging.  End them with a question  - ask your readers what they thought about your review, or if it's a meme, ask them how they feel about the book you're waiting on.  If it's  book haul post, ask them to leave a link back to their blog.  Interact with them!
• When someone comments on one of my posts (unless it's a giveaway), I go to THEIR blog and leave a comment on a post of theirs.  I always try to thank them for visiting my blog, as well.  That way they know that I truly appreciate them visiting mine - because I really, really do.  I don't consider myself a "famous" blogger or anything, but I love that my readership is still growing!
• Be social on Twitter and Facebook.  I've been using my blog's Facebook page more, and I always try to chat with my followers on Twitter.  I can't follow everyone back who follows me, but I REALLY appreciate them taking the time to follow me, so I try to be outgoing and friendly there, and talk about my current posts/etc.  

 Your turn!  What works for YOU in drawing readers to your blog?    Is there something I didn't cover in this post that you'd like to see in another post?  Have a general blogging question you'd like me to cover?  Let me know HERE. 

Discussion Post - Authors & Reviewers - The Great Debate

Why do authors tend to go off on the deep end when it comes to one starred reviews? And do you think that giving an author anything less than a three star rating is considered bullying?  - From Anonymous

I'm going to try to answer this in two parts; the first as a writer (which I am) and the second as both a writer AND a blogger.  I've been writing, first short stories, then one or two full length attempts, and finally, an ongoing YA contemporary with a friend for some time.  I first started writing when I was 12, and began writing seriously, realizing it was what I WANTED to do, when I was 17.  I imagine self-publishing some day, when I'm ready, and I get the heebie-jeebies and shakes.  But I know I'd love to take that step.  

I live my character's lives when I'm writing.  I laugh and cry with them.  I GO PLACES.  I create these families, these dreamers, these lovers...these sparks that leap off the embers of my imagination, and they mean so much to me.  They're extensions of me; they're my hopes, my creativity.  In a way, every piece I write is a breath I've held, then exhaled, and watched it become what it will.  

So I imagine reviews of my work.  I imagine the high that would come from a positive review, and the crushing blow that would stem from a negative review.  And I'm sure ALL authors, self-published, or traditionally published do the same thing. 

Here's where the line is, the line that as an author, you CANNOT cross.  A reviewer has ONLY their words and their thoughts JUST LIKE YOU DO.  

Their word is their credibility.  Their integrity is a blogger OR a writer's currency.  If you attack that reviewer, if you threaten them?  You have nothing.  And the same goes for a reviewer if THEY mistreat an author.  I think some authors toe past this line because their feelings are hurt because a negative review.  They don't realize what they're doing.  (If they do...that's a whole other story.)  They feel like someone is insulting their creation, their baby.  And that's understandable to feel that way.  But you CAN'T do it, you can't take it to that level.  You HAVE to detach a bit, to breathe around the hurt of knowing someone didn't like your book.  You have to be graceful even under pressure.  

Now for the second part of that question, which is a great one by the way!

I stopped starring books awhile ago, and chose instead to start a rating system that spoke more to how the book made me FEEL: did I love it?  Just like it?  Did I cry and laugh a lot?  That's how I sorted my categories, though I still have categories for those books that either just weren't anything special, or that I disliked. 

I think that as long as a blogger is honest and truthful in their review, WITHOUT GOING OUT OF THEIR WAY TO ANTAGONIZE AN AUTHOR, that NO rated review is bullying.  As bloggers, like I said above, our words are our bond!  ANY time we receive a book - be it an ARC, library book, or review request, our reviews need to be honest, never glossed or padded.  I've written reviews I felt bad about receiving, but you know what?  EVEN THEN, the authors in question did something amazing: they THANKED me for my review.  That review meant I had at least read their book.  

I saw a quote on Twitter today; I'm paraphrasing, but it basically said, "the only author who has never received a negative review is an unread author."  And that's true.  

So read those books.  Star/rate them however YOU see fit.  Be truthful.  Tell the world what you liked and disliked.  Try, even if it was a book you hated, to point out one thing you genuinely liked about the book, but DON'T sugar-coat it.  Be true to YOUR words and YOUR thoughts.  And while you're doing it...

Stay classy.

 Have a question I didn't answer?  Want to know something about blogging, reading, etc?  Ask me here and I'll answer ASAP!